I AM ALIVE.

I have so much stories to tell and I am afraid that I am no longer myself. I am no longer the person one would almost certainly see out in bars or in parties or orgies or whatever. I have been sucked into the world of television production--and never had i ever imagined myself gettng entangled in this web of stress and deceit and controversy. working for this weekly showbiz talkshow is ruining me and i do not even know why i am still here.

They call my position "researcher. But I say, I am a "magician." "Get me this, give me that. Find this search for the friggin supreme court ruling and i need it now (and it is a saturday night)" There is no recourse for me but to say "yes."

sometimes, we whip up skirmishes between starlets. part of the job. And I look at the paycheck. Tell me it's worth it. I need to be convinced.

i feel so profound.

posted by carl @ 10:01 PM 0 comments