I've seen blogs with song lyrics posted on them. while i do admit that i usually - wait, what usually - i always dodge reading the lyrics and proceed to read the other parts of the entry, i find myself posting the lyrics of a song which i has come to mean something to me. The most lucid memory I have with the song is when I was drinking with segment producers while i was still a researcher at the buzz. (Calling fellow employees in a tv network "officemates" does not sound like it makes sense, well besically because I cannot call a network 'office')

before i give you the lyrics, i want to dwell on this first. my former job did not really required much from me, but incidentally this included twenty-four hours of my day and all seven days of my week. (i swear i broke my knee there, all for the love of chismis.) needless to say, i disappeared from the face of the planet as i entered the world of showbiz.

It was really a dychotomy:

1) there were those who tell me that I fit right smack into that job. These are people who know me from school and I guess they've always known me as quirky and chika and all that and they kind of associated those attributes to the particular show that I used to work for. And it was kind of fun, seeing the reactions on the faces of people when I tell them what I had been doing during those days. I guess they were expecting me to know a lot of juicy stuff concerning people, well, whom i really did not give a fig about. (Binugbugbog ni famous singer/actor/tv host ang asawa nya etc etc)

2) and there were those who just knew from the beginning that it wouldn't work for me. unfortunately for me, I did not fall under number two, but this is a different thing altogether.

So back then, we had post-production/pre-production meetings every monday. after which, these segment producers and I would watch a movie and sometimes down a couple of bottles of beer after. whenever we did the latter, we almost always did so at this 24-hour joint in front of ABSCBN main gate along Sgt. Esguera. The place looks like a big, dreary hut with more often that not no other customers in it.

We were drinking and talking about the history of the show and how they hoped that I would stay and how thye thought that I had a biright future at the network and all that when this song started to play on the radio. I realized then that I had heard the song before but at that moment, something about it soothed me. I was tired then and i was not so hot about my occupation. Being in the company of newly met fascinating people and enjoying it was merely the reason I had for going back to work each day.

I scrambled towards the sound system and demanded the waiter to play the track again. I searched their CD's and scanned every track trying to look for the song. I dug into their big case logic for the sleeve just to find out what the song's title was and who recorded it.

Months later, I would be out of ABSCBN and won't see these segment producers again. I only stayed there for five months and no, there was no future for me there.

I guess, especially now, the song reminds me that (as Mundi and I were talking about a while ago) things don't fall apart. They just change.


Build
Housemartins
Now That's What I Call Quite Good...

Clambering men in big bad boots
Dug up my den, dug up my roots.
Treated us like plasticine town
They build us up and knocked us down.

From Meccano to Legoland,
Here they come with a brick in their hand,
Men with heads filled up with sand,
It's build.

Chorus:
It's build a house where we can stay,
Add a new bit everyday.
It's build a road for us to cross,
Build us lots and lots and lots and lots.

Whistling men in yellow vans
They came and drew us diagrams.
Showed us how it all worked out
And wrote it down in case of doubt.

Slow, slow, quick, quick, quick,
It's wall to wall and brick to brick,
They work so fast it makes you sick,
It's build.

Chorus.

Down with sticks and up with bricks,
In with boots and up with roots,
It's in with suits and new recruits,
It's build...

***

THINGS DO NOT FALL APART; THEY CHANGE.
Still, I can't help but think that the saddest story i will ever get to write is an autobiography.