to a golden crisp

sun-roasted charlie

last monday i dashed to the beach. i fell asleep under the noon sun for a good two hours. now im red as hell. it is more often the case that we find out what we should not be doing after doing them... and the consequences will always be of first hand-calibre.

some weeks before i left the publications room, before i gave my key to my succesor, i posted a list on my staff's corkboard. a summary of all the mistakes i have done during my stay in college, a summary of things i am bound to repeat in a bigger scale:

THINGS IVE LEARNED IN COLLEGE

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big weenie or huge boobs.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.

I've learned that you can keep puking long after you think you're finished.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place.

I've learned that we don't have to ditch bad friends, because their dysfunction makes us feel better about ourselves.

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.

I've learned to say "Fuck'em if they can't take a joke" in 6 languages.

I’ve learned that Theology, the study of God, is hell on earth.

I’ve learned that you could always screw your orals as long as you have the personality to captivate your teacher, and the clothes to compensate for you being a D student.

I’ve learned that it’s actually easy to please everybody, and impossible to please yourself.

TOUGH LUCK. What’s more is that I just copied and pasted this shit (except for the last three, which are original statements, and to my horror are drawn from personal experiences.) I HOPE U MAKE MORE OF YOUR COLLEGE YEARS THAN I HAVE.

and as john mayer said "welcome to the real world, she said to me, condescendingly...take your seat, take your life, plot it out in black and white."

i would have replied: "i have been in the real world, huny. it sucks here as much as it does there. u think its harder there because the problems are bigger; then again you've just grown too big to notice how small i am here and how my small problems knock me off my feet."

posted by carl @ 1:27 AM