now showing: charlie, the movie

whenever i see a movie (particularly one that i end up liking), one: i am sure to watch it over and over, and two: the pangs of deep regret always set in. it's a weird kind of regert. stupid, actually. i look back upon the story of my life and always tell myself "fire the goddam scriptwriter!"

humiliating as it is, especially considering that i have sufficient background in media studies to actually realize that i keep on falling into media tools, i should admit that i always end up wishing that i was IN the movie. not as an actor, but as a character. and it does not end with wishing. true enough, i spend hours and hours staring into space, living fantastic scenes, in which i am a primemover, in my silly little mind. sometimes, i think i'm going bonkers, yet i always indulge my eccentricity in spite.

life is a movie. my life is one long movie not specific to any genre. but they say that movies are, in reality, trailers with hours of fillers. so i guess my life is not exempted from this.

the purpose of this journal, i guess, is for me to be able to plot down the trailers in my movie. and if my life is a teen movie, i just had that classic "new in school" scene yesterday, which could be captured by a lot of words save for fantastic. (which i will write about after i attend the first meeting of my other class.)

in this lifetime, i have been a vampire, a wizard, a warrior, a prince, a rockstar and a movie idol, among those oh-so-close-to-real life fantasies. (such as living in "clueless." hahahaha) but through it all, i have remained to be empress of my silly little universe, who sits here in the north eastern chamber of the castelo castle typing all these imperial ramblings.

posted by carl @ 12:36 PM